Really I'm just procrastinating, but I dont have any journal entries up yet, and I thought of something relevant to talk about.

There are some kinds of artists whose work I like at least in part because I can learn rather directly from them, who have a style similar, if better evolved/trained/etc, to mine. I have lots of these kinds of things in my favorites, go look. Actually go look through my favorites anyway, there's some neat stuff in there. Anyway. Other art I like because I cannot even imagine how they did that. Completely different technique, media, style, appearance, maybe all of those, and I am just in awe. Generally jealous awe. There's a fair amount of that stuff in my favorites, too. So I started thinking about why I draw the way I do, and why even though I get better and learn new techniques and things, all my drawings maintain a similar style that is this weird halfway point between manga-ish lineart and smudgy shaded realism. This is probably influenced by the fact that I can't decide which of these types of art I like better, much less want to get better in, so instead of picking a direction towards one or the other I simply try and head for 'better'.

It's also probably influenced by the noticeable decline in quality of my art whenever I try to head for one direction or the other. for instance, I have friends in RL(real life friends? NO WAY) who are fantastic at drawing in the anime/manga style. To watch them draw is utterly fascinating for me, it's an entirely different process. They put down lines that are right the FIRST TIME. This in inconceivable for a drawing of mine. it doesn't happen. not ever. as for realism, the few I've got up here at DA is the very best that I've got.

But I thought about it for awhile, and I may have figure out why the clean line thing is so very difficult for me. And the asnwer is, cause I started in, and still mostly think in, pastels. Soft chalk pastels. Now, it is possible to be careful and delicate with pastels. But not nearly as much fun. Plus, pastels get a lot more forgiving once you realize that instead of blending oh-so-carefully and smudging with the ends of your fingers, you could just add more chalk on top until it's right and keep going. Soft pastels can be mostly pigment and working with them is exhilarating, and becomes some of the most violent, boisterous, messy forms of traditional art I've ever tried. And it's my very favorite. it's this very strange hybrid between painting and drawing, and manages to become messier and more forgiving of mistakes than either. And fast. You can get to 'pretty' very quickly with pastels. 'detailed' takes more time, but for the impatient, yet aesthetically inclined, it works out.

So that's where whatever 'style' I may have comes from, really. So why am I working in pencil and not pastel, if I like it so much? Because pastels, as awesome as they are, make messes of a size that fit in basements, backyards, and studios- not dorm rooms.

the end!

Also, I may have broken my hand.